


Day 2 - Shenko Appreciation Week (Why don't you break my heart?)

by DalishGrey



Series: The Redacted Files [9]
Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Anger, Angst, Character Death, F/M, Family, Flashbacks, Funeral, Heartbreak, Hurt/Comfort, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Shenko appreciation week
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-18
Updated: 2015-12-18
Packaged: 2018-05-07 09:03:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,390
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5451032
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DalishGrey/pseuds/DalishGrey
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She was coping. Barely.<br/>A day of marital bliss, turned into her worst nightmare.<br/>It wasn't fair. It should have been her...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Day 2 - Shenko Appreciation Week (Why don't you break my heart?)

**Author's Note:**

> I cried when writing this XD (I suggest listening to 'Bridge of Khazad Dum - Eurielle' when reading...but that's my personal preference haha)
> 
> I'm not very good with angsty writing, but here you go! Hope you 'enjoy' :)

**One Last Time**

 

 

She stared at his picture. Absent minded.

How? How did this happen? How the _fuck_ did this happen?!

Her grip on the back of her chair tightened, knuckles turning white under the strain.

Her heart hurt, the gaping chasm he left behind, burning and twisting...yet _empty_. She blinked back the tears that stung her eyes, threatening to unleash everything she'd been holding in. She wished she could tell herself ' _it happens in wars, people die'_ but this wasn't a _fucking_ war, it was home, it was peaceful...it had been perfect.

A broken sob escaped her lips and she craved his embrace, for strong arms to wrap around her and for him to tell her it'd be okay. But it wouldn't...not like it used to be.

[ _They walked hand in hand across English Bay. The low tide stretching across the horizon. She smiled softly, basking in the sunlight as he ran his thumb over her knuckle. Slowly he lifted a hand and pressed his lips against the sun-kissed ivory.His gaze purely loving as he glanced softly down at her. The gently breeze swept her raven hair away from her face, a soft caress matched only by that of her husband._

_They'd spent the day walking, sitting in cafe's, finding presents for his mother's birthday. Simply enjoying one another's company._

_Pale blue skies were a welcome sight, the soft grass pleasant beneath their feet as they strolled through the park. Trees swayed to an unheard tune, creating a melody of their own with the rustle of crisp green leaves. It felt good to relax, a day to themselves after their long deployment, a day to be husband and wife. The long sought calm after a never-ending storm._

_Though most of all, they were glad Spring was nearing its end, because as soon as Summer broke, he'd return to them._

_But their happiness was short lived._

_"There she is!" someone cried. Anger. All she heard was anger. Kaidan's grip on her hand tightened as he pulled her, and they ran._

_"Shit!" she cursed, whimpering softly as they fled, the healing wounds on her waist still twinging with each forced movement._

_They ran for as long as their feet could carry them, until finally she couldn't. Every scar on her body burned. They rounded a corner, swearing under their breath as a large wall stretched up higher than they could vault. She collapsed, gasping for breath as everything inside of her hurt, sharp, stinging, like a scalpel beneath her skin. A dire contrast to the softness of her dress as it caressed her sensitive form._

_Kaidan quickly pulled her into his arms, keeping her close._

_Footsteps came to a screeching halt behind them._

_"You bitch!" He growled, baring blackened teeth. His dark eyes swimming with liquid hate._

_"What do you want with us?" Kaidan asked, pushing her behind him with a single strong gesture._

_Her sight blurred as his biotics hummed, the soft blue hue surrounding him. She would have taken a moment to admire the sight, the ripple of muscle and flicker of purple and blue in his palms. The group of men started to move closer, prowling, stalking. Guns in hand, she realised that they were screwed if they couldn't arm themselves._

_"Our colony! She screwed us! And now everyone's dead! And it's 'er fault!" his voice cut into her like a knife and she couldn't help the tears that threatened "Does she even know it's name?!" he stepped forward, Avenger raised in front of him as his arms flailed._

_"I'm sorry, for whatever I did! But I've done all I could! I'm sorry!" she moved out from behind her husband, clutching onto his fitted white shirt. That was all it took. They unleashed a wave of bullets, luckily deflected by Kaidan's barrier. And as they reloaded, he ran, using his biotics to throw himself forward._

_They fought. He battered them, deflecting, evading, shattering. Unrelenting. She wanted so desperately to help, but she was useless. Merely holding a gun would send her into a spiral and she couldn't do anything aside from watch as her husband fought for both of their lives._

_But it was when they stopped that she truly knew the meaning of helplessness._

_The last man fell to the floor with a sickening thud, Kaidan's arms releasing his crushed neck from its hold. He tried to walk to her when he lifted a hand to his chest. His palmed stained red with blood. His eyes widening as he realized it was his own._

_Kaidan's knees buckled and he hit the concrete with a groan._

_"Fuck!" he grunted, his sight blurring as he felt his own life slipping. She cried out. Panic seeping in._

_"Kaidan..."_

_She ran, ignoring the wearing pain as she knelt at his side, tears streaming down her face. He'd paled, his chest heaved and stained a crimson red as blood trickled from between his purple lips._

_"No! No! No! Hold on! You'll be okay!" she begged, her voice hoarse as she tried to help him, but she scrambled, not knowing what to do. He coughed loudly, an explosion of red bursting forth from his mouth as he slipped further and further. "Kaidan! Please!" she screamed, taking his face in her hands, his eyes closing as he drifted in and out of consciousness "Someone! Help me! Please!" her sobs were broken, erratic, her heart trying to break out of its cage as her blood pounded in her ears._

_He looked up at her through heavy-lidded, deep brown eyes._

_'One last look, please one last...'_

_She sobbed, wiping the blood from his chin and applying pressure to his wound._

_"Please! Help!" she looked around, finding only solitude._

_No one answered._

_"Help me!"_

_Silence._

_A large hand reached up and weakly cupped her face, wiping away a tear with his thumb. A soft smile playing on his lips._

_"Don't go, please..." she would give her life for his. Over and over again. A hand lifted to his, holding tightly; long, slender fingers slowly brushing through her hair as his arm dropped. Chocolate eyes staring up at her with one last look of love, a final breath passing through bloodied lips. "No...no..." disbelief. That's all there was. How could he be gone?_ ]

She sobbed loudly. Her grip tightening on the chair further and with a single swing she threw it. Glass shattering as it collided with the window. Slowly it tumbled down the hill. Muted screams filling the emptiness. Long swipes cleared her desk, books thrown and torn, consoles sparking as she pulled them from their resting places.

Tears flowed freely, relentlessly. She fell to her knees. Shaking fingers threading through her raven hair as she screamed. Her body shuddered and jolted with every anguished cry. She wanted to be with him. She craved to be with him. But she couldn't, she knew she couldn't.

Tessa stared down aimlessly, craddling the wounded, bloodied hand. Had she cut her hand when she threw the chair? Was it the console? She found that she didn't really care.

The door to her bedroom opened and a scaled hand reached out, resting on her shoulder, a calming voice washing over her.

"Shepard? There's someone here to see you" Garrus called out.

Slowly she placed a hand on his. Standing and straightening her sleek black dress, she turned, welcoming the embrace of her closest friend.

After seeing her hand, he swiftly went to work, grabbing a bandage from a near-by medkit.

"Who's here?" she asked, her voice a mere croak, her throat dry. Garrus smiled. Sort of.

The soft patter of running feet, drew her attention to the door. There he was. Dressed in his black and white suit, a small black tie bringing it all together. A head of dark curls, slicked back. Big chocolate eyes staring up at her. A large grin plastered on his lightly golden face.

"Mummy!" he laughed, jumping into her arms. His arms wrapped at her neck and she kissed his hair softly. She took a moment to just hold him. Her eyes glazing over once more. "Uncle Gawwy said we're going to see daddy today" he cooed. She breathed deeply, fighting the sob that bubbled beneath the surface.

"Yes, honey" she pulled softly at his tamed curls "one last time".

**Author's Note:**

> Please feel free to leave feedback :) it's always helpful to know what I've done right and what needs improvement :)


End file.
